Bitter Grounds - espresso fueled ramblings

Monday, October 23, 2017

A while back I wrote I was having a weird ass kind of day. Turns out the last month has been like that. I’m in hiding at the moment.

Actually, less hiding out than doing something a friend and I said we’d do. He died on the weekend, leaving plans unfilled and a gap in my heart. Funny how we get used to having someone around. I’d grown incredibly fond of Doug. He started out as “just another computer job” and rapidly became my Thurs morning fixture. He’d pour a cup of what could arguably be called the single worse coffee ever made by man and we’d pretend to fix something that wasn’t broken. It was just an excuse to shoot the breeze for an hour or two and have a laugh.

He didn’t get out much, his health was pretty shaky, but we were making plans to go have a decent cup “somewhere”. Today was my first free Thursday in nearly 2 years (with the exception of the odd interruption) and I’m feeling at loose ends. Last night I looked at my phone and realised there would be no more texts from him saying “tomorrow?” “door’s open” “stay out of trouble”. Every Wed evening we’d go through the ritual of texting about our hot date in the morning and confirming. I found myself checking, from habit, for his usual text.

So .. I decided to go out and have that coffee for him. It isn’t nuclear rocket fuel (what the hell did he do to the modest coffee bean to get it so jet propelled?), but it’ll have to do.

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"Writing is not life, but I think that sometimes it can be a way back to life."

- Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

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