- Category: Memoirs
- Published: Tuesday, 23 August 2016 16:58
- Written by Catpaw
- Hits: 1991
Ok, I’m admitting to a severe spider phobia. Snakes, preying mantis (which are the coolest creatures in the entire bug kingdom by the way), all sorts of crawly/flying things … not a problem. Slap a spare pair of legs on that body and my instinct is to go running at top speed in the opposite direction.
I don’t hate spiders; I’m simply knee wobbly terrified of them. Spiders and I have had a long standing truce over the years, they stay out of my room and I don’t go out of my way to harass them. It’s worked quite well for over 2 decades. Until last night that is. I was in bed watching some random garbage when a HUGE … I mean H-U-G-E spider skittered up the tv screen. He must have been at least 10” long …. Ok .. he was about ½” long … but he sure as shit looked huge to me. The first thought that scrambled through my scrambled brains was “OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT”. The second thought was “Can I wake up my 78 year old mother to catch that spider”. I nixed the second idea, but I seriously thought about it. I actually peaked out the door to see if her light was on. Yes, I am a coward.
So … I spent most of the night wondering where he was. At one point I panicked and thought he was on my bed, which led to a quick whipping off of the covers and a shake (both me and the blankets). This morning I banged my runners together and shook them, just in case he was lurking there (I really have to stop watching Australian nature shows…. Their damned spiders are the stuff of nightmares) and inspected my clothes before putting them on. Chances are, he isn’t even in the room any longer. But tonight, I’ll don armour and go and search all the crevices.
When I was a kid, vacations with my dad and his wife inevitably ended up in some kind of a spider admiration group hug. Do you know how many spiders there are in the Everglades? No, do you? I could never live there. The two of them would stop at every fricking spider web and ooohhh and awe over it. Oh and yes, take photos of them…. Yup … photos. Bad enough we were standing in a swamp that had alligators and spiders, they wanted to take souvenir photos of them. I once muttered something about next time they should leave me at home and take the spiders on a nice vacation, which, as you can guess really didn’t go over well.