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Open letter to James the would be phishing scammer

Written by catpaw

September 17, 2019

A customer just sent me this email. I’ve blocked out what they wrote along with the 6 lines of cc: email addresses for obvious reasons:

Screen capture of a badly constructed phishing attempt by a spamer

Not sure if they should be arrested for phishing scams or the egregious use of upper case letters.

It is eye-wateringly bad.  Oh James, James, James! This is what happens when you don’t pay attention in class. You end up spending your life writing unreadable phishing scams and living in a cardboard box, wondering why no one is taking you seriously.  I don’t understand the wretched use of upper case letters. I mean, what did the alphabet do to deserve this level of abuse from you. And don’t get me started on the basic construction of the email.

Hi, This Is James Tyron,  From PC CARE  SOLUTION And The Reason You Are Receiving This Email Because We Will Like To Inform You That The Services Which You Have Signed Up With Us Has Been Expired. So, The Services Will Be Automatically Renewed In 2 Days And The Renewal Charges Will Bei599.00$(USD) For Lifetime Technical Support Contract And It Will Automatically Debited From Your Account Because You Have Signed A Contract With PC CARE  SOLUTION For The Auto Renewal Contract However,  If You Dont want To Continue With Our Services Then You Can Call On Our Customer Helpline Number:+1 (321) 351 6089  This Is Our Cancellation Department’s Number And Ask For (James Tyron) PC CARE SOLUTION  To Cancel The Services And after That You Need To Fill Up A Cancellation Form In Order For The Services To Get Cancelled and We Will Like To Inform You That The Services Which You Have Signed Up For The Computer Protection. I Hope You Remember That You Called Us when You Were Facing Problem And Errors in Your computer And Printer And Fixed That Problem And You Paid Us Certain Amount And The Invoice Of That Contract Was sent To Your Email.So Kindly Call Us On +! (321) 351 6089  If You Wish To Cancel The Contract Otherwise The Contract Will Be Renewed Automatically and The Money Will Be Debited From Your Account.




The only thing missing on this letter was a huge neon banner reading “THIS IS A SCAM”. 

Look James, at least master the basics of BCC before diving into the criminal pool. Save yourself the embarrassment now. Or better yet, try a job at MacDonald’s. I’m sure the abuse piled on you there will be far less than than the ridicule you’re receiving for this laughably bad phishing attempt. Plus you will get a pay cheque in return.  Maybe cold cheese burgers at the end of your shift.  What I’m trying to tell you James is … well … you just don’t have what it takes to be a criminal. I’m not sure you have what it takes for MacDonald’s but give it a try. 

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