Bitter Grounds Magazine

espresso fueled ramblings

Written by catpaw

March 07, 2015

Starbucks’ suburban bridal shower pink banzanarama

So … Starbucks premiered their new line of eats last week. I would have written about this earlier but, quite honestly, I was struck dumb by the site. Frilly pastel pink? Really Starbucks? I couldn’t figure out what nightmares you were channeling that led you to this design. Pastely pink balloons in an arch, pink bows, pink cup bands? Pink shirts and aprons? Really?

This begs the question – what the fuck were you smoking to come up with this wishy washy, ‘burbs wedding nightmare? It was like a bad joke. No, correction, not like, it was. The only good part was watching the suit and tie brigade stop in their tracks and raise a puzzled eyebrow. The colour isn’t just off putting, it was downright nausea inducing. Pastel pink isn’t a colour that invokes images of a Paris café. Nor does it make the taste buds eager to try the products. How about colours like rich blueberries, cranberry red, or warm rich colours that entice the eyes. Pink balloons in an arch pretty much reminded me of tacky high school dances and those dreaded, to be avoided at all costs, bridal showers. You know the ones – pink, earnest, all washed out and terribly cutesy.

Starbucks, you dropped the ball on this launch. There is an entire science behind the use of colours market food. Pink is not one of the recommended ones. Your launch was bland, bland, bland. If you were trying to reach out to a pre teenage girl market, well done. Otherwise, wow. Just wow. You nearly lost me last week. I stood in the doorway, looking at the bows and ribbons, balloons and egregious use of pink everywhere and was tempted to go elsewhere.   I have no idea if your new line of foods is any good, I couldn’t move past the bad flashbacks of dreadful bridal shower games. Whoa! Another flashback… have to go take some drugs to stem the tidal wave.


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