Like everyone else, I get a lot of unwanted junk mail. Today, I spotted this gem and wondered if it would solve the spam problem.
Junk mail offer that is too good to be true
“Say Goodbye to Every Pest You can Think Of!”
I seriously considered buying their product in a fit of wishful thinking. I mean, I can think of a lot of pests I’d love to be rid of. I’d start with crap companies who still believe spamming their product is a valid marketing method. I wanted to email them and ask if they could guarantee their product would zap spammers but alas the links led to a dead end. Typical – get my hopes up and dash them.
Now I’m fantasizing about a product I can use with a push of a button that would send a shock down the internet and evaporate spammers. Maybe if we crowdfund … nah. Not possible, but a hell of a good dream.
I’ve been lurking over at r/ChoosingBeggars lately. Lots of time to kill while I wait in hospital corridors and luckily Reddit supplies an endless stream of entertainment. I stumbled r/ChoosingBeggars and quickly became enthralled by the outrageous demands people make. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. For the uninitiated in the weird world of Reddit, Choosing Beggars is a forum for people fed up to their back teeth with people asking for stuff and then getting picking and demanding.
Some of the posts are obvious fakes, but quite a few are completely believable. People never know when to stop and their sense of entitlement has now been turned into vicarious entertainment for us. This one caught my attention the other day.
r/choosingbeggars demanding free shit
Bratty cousin stole my Netflix password and when I changed it he wants me [to give it] to him
Bratty Cousin (BC): Hello, this is [your cousin] I need your Netflix password because it doesn’t work anymore
Netflix subscriber (NS): How did you get my Netflix password? I changed my password because it kept kicking me off when I wanted to watch because other devices were watching.
And no you aren’t getting the password.
BC: Why are you being such a bitch. You don’t need all of it yourself.
NS: I said no.
BC: [posts a rude emoji]
Yea, kid, that’ll really encourage your cousin to share with you, you sweet talker. If you want to fry a few brain cells wander over to Reddit and amuse yourself.
Update: I’m deciding whether to video my first life hack test. The first try was a bit dodgy, and quite comical. I’ll likely do what I enjoy doing the most – photograph bits of it and do a write up. It’s far easier and faster.
“There was an unfortunate incident with the microwave” is not a sentence that inspires confidence in humanity. I’ve been visiting someone in hospital for awhile and often use the communal microwave and kettle. Last week the microwave disappeared. So did the kettle. By the second day of them missing in action my curiosity got the better of me. I asked one of the nurses what happened, and she scrunched her face a bit and mumbled something about an unfortunate incident.
Of course my mind went into overdrive wondering what the offending incident was. I’m quite sure the actual offense as quite benign, but I can’t get past the fact both the microwave and kettle were taken away. Hanging around hospital rooms is a bit boring so I latch onto anything that may be mildly entertaining and the AWOL microwave provided a tiny bit of amusement. After talking to staff on the floor, I heard stories that would make anyone despair. Luckily this week a new kettle and microwave appeared in the room. HURRAY – I can make crappy Styrofoam tea again. On Tuesday, I wandered in to heat up some soup and spotted a list of DO NOTS posted on the wall over the shiny new microwave.
The list on the wall
Remember – NO GRAPES or HOT PEPPERS
Most of the usual suspects are on the list – metal objects, tin foil, Styrofoam and flimsy plastic containers. Someone always pops one of these in, usually because they are distracted and not thinking. But a few of them made me stop and ponder how humanity hasn’t self extinguished already.
Evidently people love to stuff clothing into the microwave to warm them. I’m all for toasty clothing, but no, just no. The previous microwave was very small. Not even big enough to put a bath towel into let alone a blanket. Seems people were always stuffing blankets into the microwave and panicking when they began to burn.
The hot peppers? Oh man, have you ever been in a room when someone over nukes hot peppers? It’s like being pepper sprayed. Not something that should be done in a hospital. The smell and capsicum drifting in the air could level a rhino in 30 seconds. So yes, people had to be warned not to pepper spray sick people.
The grapes make me believe humanity is truly screwed. Just think of it for a second or two. Grapes are little sacks of soft, fleshy liquid. Super heat them in a microwave and you have itty bitty nuclear bombs ready to explode. If some of them survive the exposure without blowing apart while heating, imagine biting into one. I wonder how severe the burns to lips and tongue would be. I shutter each time.
For the time we are happy to have access to a kettle and microwave. They’ve been clean for 3 days now. I figure when I go in tomorrow, everything will be back to normal – ah I can almost hear the sounds of eggs exploding in the microwave now.
Reddit throws up a lot funny as hell posts periodically in the r/mildlyinteresting feed. Now I can’t get the damned giraffe out of my head.
Reddit’s r/rmildlyinteresting amusing humour
Lifehack – a strategy or technique adopted in order to manage one’s time and daily activities in a more efficient way. Oxford Dictionary
The web is awash with lifehack websites. So many, it’s now hard to make it through a day without one popping up in an ad or post. Some are pretty cool. Most are eye rollingly daft. I’ve decided to check out some and see if they are real lifehacks or click bait nonsense. The first one I’ve tested turned out to take more time than it was worth. The first hack involves eggs. Come back in a few days to find out what on earth this is about.
Have a lifehack you want me to investigate? Drop it into the comments section or wander over to Bitter Grounds Facebook page or Twitter account and leave a suggestion.