How to be passive aggressive and still get that seat on the subway

Ever have one of those moments where you spontaneously say aloud what you’re thinking and not realise it? I did that today. Travelling around the TTC (Toronto Transit) can be a bit … er … irritating at times. People blocking the aisles and refusing to move, annoying asses who play their music sans headphones, or worse playing Candy Crush with the VOLUME UP HIGH (there should be a criminal code addition for this one) and my personal favourite? Idiots who put their parcels on the seats beside them so no one can sit down. I actually enjoy telling these people to move their bags. . I’ll ask politely once. After that …. I simply state they risk having the parcels sat upon.  The startled look on their faces makes my day.

Today though? Not sure what exactly triggered this little bit of passive aggressive mouth work but I stood trying to get around people clustered in the subway door refusing to clear the way for the rest of us. Before I realised it I muttered (evidently rather loudly) “Gawd, I hate humans … all of you”. And the crowds parted like the Red Sea. I’ll have to remember that little trick for the future. Funnily enough someone vacated their seat when I sat down beside them. Nothing says MOVE like a tired, slightly crazed woman.

It was a peaceful trip home.