Win 10 app review – CIBC’s bewilderingly bad offering

CIBC mobile app for Windows 10 | App Review   —-   0 /☕☕☕☕☕
Works on:  don’t bother… just don’t bother.

https://www.cibc.com/ca

Dear Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce,

What were your app designers smoking that led them produce your “app” for Windows 10? Equally important is the question “wtf?”  I put app in quotation marks because it’s painfully obvious you have not created an app. It’s a glorified bookmark to your webpage. As one person stated in the review section “We know how to open a browser and bookmark a website”.

You see, that’s all your “app” is. It offers nothing. Absolutely NOTHING. No functionality, none of the nifty features in your iPhone or Android apps. No way to take a photo of a cheque and instantly deposit it …. nada damn thing.   What we do get is redirected to your mobile website.  Don’t get me wrong, you mobile website is very good, but it isn’t an app.  Where is the instant deposit feature you push so hard? That is a terrific feature but Windows users aren’t allowed to use it.  And don’t get me started on your mobile payment app. Unless you have a Blackberry or Android, forget it.  And come to think about it, you offer it on Blackberry and not iPhones? Seriously CIBC? Now that’s funny.

What kills me is the tag line “Innovation at your fingertips: CIBC Mobile Banking®” on your website. There is nothing innovative about redirecting people to your webpage. The introduction of Win10 was not a mystery. You knew it was coming. It’s been out for nearly a year now and yet you can’t produce a real app.

Yea, you deserve 0 out of 5 for this offering.

Word It smartphone game – The 1950’s are calling & want their stereotypes back.

Word It smartphone game – The 1950’s are calling & want their stereotypes back.

I like word games. I have a couple on my phone and spend way too much time playing them. I’m always throwing in games, testing them and ripping them out. I stumbled across one a few months back that had me rolling my eyes in disbelief. Word It embodies all the stereotyped thinking that makes female gamers run screaming from the room.

Here’s a sample of how not to set up a game category:

HowNot2HowNot2HowNotToGame

Enjoy the word search? I tore the game out after that. 15 levels to the category, and each is loaded with silly, stereotypical, mindless fluff. Except for one inscrutable question: Japanese Dish – Sushi is the answer. But WFT? No, really, wtf? Raw fish under Girls Rule.

I’m not going to bother breaking the game down for you further. It’s a lesson in bad game design. In hindsight, I should have known better than to click on a category called “Girls Rule”. Seriously, I know better, I’ve endured years looking at games that have anatomically impossible women with gravity defying boobage. While I’m on a bender, what’s with the armour on female warriors? Men go off clad in the best, toughest armour and women are sent into battle with a leather bikini and boots. This either means, women are superior warriors or the men who design so many games really don’t know a thing about the female of the species.

BUT I DIGRESS…..

The only things missing were the phrases “thinking makes my brain hurt” and “I’m too pretty to think”. Word It is a lesson in how NOT TO DESIGN A GAME. 15 levels of baubles, trinkets, pretty stuff, liquid soap and “easily broken” (again wtf?). It’d love to sit down with the designer and ask him what was he thinking. I’d also ask if he was trying for “Most patronising category award”. The sad thing is, the game itself has a great deal of potential. I just couldn’t  survive the silly sexism and tossed the game.

I revisited it lately, hoping to see a change, but alas, no. So, if you want to learn what not to do, get the game. Otherwise, give it a pass.

Review: Word It by RJ Software